Monday, September 13, 2010

"Now I Know I Have a Heart, Cause I Can Feel It Breaking"

Does anyone know what movie that quote is from?

My heart is breaking today for my son, Henry.  My heart often breaks for Henry.

One of the toughest things about having triplets of the same gender, is when one is not as "good" at some things such as sports, school, music etc.  It's tough even when your kids aren't the same age but it is especially tough when they are in class together, they have the same peers and always feel they are part of a unit.  We want each of our boys to have their own path, their own interests, their own successes in life but now at this age, with both parents working full time, it is so damn hard to spread our time out over four kids.  We tend to sign the boys up for baseball together, we signed them up for band together, cub scouts, swimming - everything.  Sam and Charlie are holding their own with baseball but it is such a struggle for Henry.  So we are letting him drop out if he wants to.  He loves the game - but as a spectator.  He knows everything about baseball.  He's a walking baseball encyclopedia.

The kids have started at a new school this year - long story.  So far, they all seem to be adjusting fine.  Then today Henry told me something that has me concerned.  The boys have a project at school where they can work with a partner.  Sam and Charlie each have a partner but Henry told me today nobody wanted to be his partner.  I didn't know what to say.  I think for me personally, that is one of the things I find so hard about being a parent - not always knowing the right words to help ease their way.

So, my heart is breaking for my boy.  My sensitive, clever, hilarious, frustrating, hot tempered, creative, heart as big as Texas boy.


  1. Wizard of Oz!! The tin man says it when Dorothy is saying goodbye to him.

    So fun to "see" you blogging. If you've ever considered home schooling - one of the many reasons I do it is to help my kids keep from comparing themselves to others. Just a thought.

    Hope you will check out my blog, too at

    There's even a post about when we sang Mahler's Eighth at Carnegie.

  2. From Terry & Tim -
    "OF COURSE ITS THE WIZARD OF OZ!" So great to read your post - I hope so much that you keep sharing. This is the heart wrenching stuff of which life is truly made. So happy to be included - will follow!
    Our family blog:
    Tims writing blog:

  3. My Budda Man....Auntie JoJo's heart breaks as well.
    How about Henry be the baseball team manager. Keep the sats for the coach and maybe run the score board. Something like that.

    As for groups/partners. As a teacher I hate it as well. Most times I pick groups but lots of time I pick who works with who just so that the kids don't work with the same people. I want to expand their horizons. Are there problems with that? You bet...but I always tell the kids that in some point in life you have to work with people your don't particuliarly like.
    Do you watch Project Runway? This last week Mondo and Michael C worked together. ALL PR folks hated Michael. Mondo was not happy. But after a bit Michael shined and he and Mondo rocked.

    Do I have an answer for Henry? No. Can he get involved in something all by himself outside of neighborhood things. What happened with swimming?
    Henry is going to have a rough road...but knowing that his parents love and adore him is cool. Try the Bball manager thing. See what happenes.
    XXXOOO for you and Henry.